Music for the mood of this post. Video made previously for my FireTeam Family
Life Is Not Yet Over
The conversations lately have been intense and are much about change, challenge, and more change. I’ve learned a few things in these 35 years, and while I don’t know it all, I know a few things that might be helpful. I often get challenged simply because I have a positive demeanor, outlook, and teach on inspiration, love, and the power we have inside of ourselves. I’ve been charged with being naive even though ‘they’ don’t know the educations in my life; the lessons and experiences that I’ve charged through and made it past.
I so love to let people know the roads I’ve been down so as to hopefully impart some wisdom or guidance because I would never want others to go through what I’ve been through. It is necessary to go through many unpleasant circumstances in life to have a full life but if I can help navigate someone around them, I’d love to. If I can help them through it, I will. I’ve been in more tough spots than many think I have simply because of how I am perceived as a coach and with success in different areas.
There were times I thought life was soon to be over, yet here I am. There have been moments for all of us laden with despair sometimes and yet we are still here. Life is not yet over for us. We will make it through.
Right in the middle of a recent trip to California, I celebrated 35 years of being on this journey as a man named Sean D. Olivares. It has been 35 years and a week now. On that day, I was surrounded by friends that I now call family and received no shortage of love from many people around the world. I could not have been more humbled and grateful at it all. Throughout the years, life hasn’t always been this way. I remember terrible birthdays and tragic years in between them. There were lonelier, tougher times. There are stories…oh so many stories; all of which lead me to this birthday 35 years later.
I began to think about it all and this time at Sean Knows, I wanted to share some of my life and why oh why I think I know so much, why I do what I do, why it matters so much to me, and hopefully you’ll believe, too, that life is not yet over for you either no matter where you are.
I know a bit about heartbreak, being broke, being hated, being full of anger, also drunken, prideful, misunderstood, and betrayed. There’s been no shortage of brushes with death from almost losing my grip on the side of an endless cliff (not by choice) to a car accident, cancerous and unhealthy scares, extreme depression, being beaten severely, and another time mugged at gun point. There was being shot at with bullet holes just a few inches from my head and the time I was able to run fast enough to get away from a knife fight. There were uncompromising stances I took that crumbled friendships, ended relationships, made me an outcast, and harbored enmity. I’ve sat fraught with despair over not seeing my children, have held a dying friend in my arms taking the last breathe, and other moments encountering the inevitable stroke of death.
I’ve obsessed over an unrequited love and let it tear me apart for a decade. That didn’t help other relationships become healthier. From aloof to over controlling, I never seemed to balance life correctly and there were consequences. Emotions were often in a tirade with the guilt of not becoming the me I wanted to when I was younger and those feelings haunted me for years leading to such a deep anger while drinking alcohol. I was lost in a mire of confusing perceptions of life and the people in it. I found it far too easy to hurt people all along the way. There was no shortage of the pain I left in the wake of my anger and pride. There was no rock left unturned to prove others wrong.
What is worse is that I hid almost all of this with a charming facade and intellect that was fairly bulletproof enough to deflect anyone who got too close.
In business, I made lots of money and lost twice as much. I know what it’s like to run businesses well and run them well into the ground. I’ve begged for money, done what I had to for my kids, and been in very compromising situations. Considering the stress I’ve put this body through, I’m surprised that I’m still here. From anxiety attacks to obesity, I’ve felt my body cry for help. You want to know how to make women not want anything to do with you, I have the words to say. I also knew what to say to cut straight through anyone else and demoralize them with one line. Sarcasm is not so funny at times.
I didn’t take the chances that I could have to turn things around and sat with regret for years. I turned my back and crossed lines I never should have regardless of the fore-warnings. I’ve hated myself, my family, my life, my friends and carried around bags of blame as if I was the blame Mailman ready to deliver daily. I’ve lived with paralyzing fear and paranoia as my mind took over time and time again always fearing the worst and never trusting anyone. I have tried to kill the spirit inside of me so as to not feel the pain of life.
There are details of stories in places I rarely share that add to this list of experiences that I’ve overcome. Oh there are details. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. It isn’t just these things but everything that comes with it that I keep in mind. There are all the emotions, decisions, and consequences that come with each and every single event. And the key here for you is that yes, I’ve overcome much of this, healed a great deal of it, and am still working on the rest. Life is Not Yet Over.
There were lines I did not cross, too. There were things that kept me alive…kept me going.
By the grace of something I cannot fully fathom, at every turn, I am and still here.
As for the pluses in life, I’ve gone through even much more.
I’ve loved. I’ve loved so deeply that life is created around me. I’ve learned how to say the right thing to heal myself and often times others. I’ve raised two amazing teens and healed so much between us. Forgiveness made its way into my every day and because of it, friendships no longer fade as they once did and learned how to raise peoples spirit with just a few words and heartfelt connection. I’ve traveled the world and bargained my way into the most exquisite experiences of life time and again. I’ve shared laughter in ways that I pray every single person gets to do so that it reminds them what life can really be about. I’ve had the honor of being open to love by women who have taught me how to be the kind of man that makes them feel like a woman. Gratitude opened up my senses and peace placed new trails before me to walk. My body has healed and recovered from almost all the damage I’ve done to it and my cells vibrate with energy and vitality. I’ve lost weight and exercised and performed with precision in competitions. From walking on fire to skydiving, getting tattoos and public speaking for a global audience, I’ve systematically learned how to overcome fears. I’ve made the kind of friends that most people only dream about and have become a confidant to some of the most unique souls in the world that I only once dreamed about meeting. I’ve written and published a bestselling poetry book, coordinated efforts to feed communities, enliven a crowd, and inspire change. I’ve cried in heartfelt moments with strangers helping them to make sense of life and of what to do next. I’ve been called on by leaders looking for advice. I’ve learned to tell the truth to myself and others and how to be gentle about it. I’ve helped families in other parts of the world through grieving processes and shared stories that bring a person to take action instead of waiting to die. I’ve taught the pitfalls of money mismanagement and learned how to hold onto it more. In business, I’ve created mini money miracles by using technology, know how, and not giving up. I’ve had a Midas touch for some businesses with just a few key decisions and pointers.
I learned how not to hesitate and to say what matters most and know when to let some moments pass and let things go. I’ve stepped into leadership in ways that I never thought I could and then taught others how to do the same. Leadership requires going first and I’ll do that now. Learning to be decisive and positive in the face of danger and fear has lead to many worthy moments. I’ve had the honor of being a champion for someone who needed one in dark times and sometimes that someone was me. The brain is a fascinating tool to use and I’m grateful to start integrating all these lessons for the betterment of my own life and life in general. I’ve found more of me now that I want to know me and I’ve learned how to like myself. Dancing, singing, tasting, hearing, feeling, dreaming, and enjoying the soul of this life have been blessings that I now understand better. This sacred journey has given me so much that I want to continue to share and pay forward and life is not yet over. I want more chocolate and wine, lyrics and dance moves, trees to sit under and countries to breathe in; there is a magic I want to continue to touch and share, and a love that I want to undulate in, smiles, hugs, and even some more challenges to overcome. I want it all for as long as I can because that is why I came here. There are more beauties to see and more life to live, more fears to get over and passions to find, more seconds to appreciate and women to meet, more men to befriend and battles to have peace, healing to be had and more healing to enjoy. No, Life is Not Yet Over.
It is far from over. Life includes all of this. And like the section before, there are so many more details that compound the reality of the stories into my life experience. It’s what I draw from to help others. It’s what I’ve been through that wants me to keep helping others because I know that life is not yet over.
I have not done all of this alone. If it weren’t for every single soul as along the way to teach all of this, 35 would not be this way. I am thankful.
So when people ask what qualifies me to coach them… to help out, I could talk about all the training I’ve had and all the companies I’ve learned from; I could go on about the books I’ve read and the seminars and certifications I’ve acquired from them, the classes, the workshops, and all of the successes over time in life and business categorically, I could do all of that. Sure I have a proven system that works. I have skills and strategies that we can use, but there is more to it that that. It’s about continuing on, learning, overcoming, making friends, using money, making decisions, loving, forgiving, and being a bad ass in our own way; its about acknowledging who we truly are, being yourself fully in all the potential that they have and using it, about loving ourselves more and knowing that everything can change with faith and action. I’d rather talk about how I came through it because I’ve learned that the best way I can help others is to show by example. I’ve learned from mentors the very same lessons that I teach and I’m carrying the torch of no brevity forward so that fear can be exhausted by the presence of this light.
If you are looking for a coach or mentor, I might know something about how to help.
Contact me on Social Media listed in the graphic at the top of this page or email@example.com
I’m so grateful to be alive. Thank you for reading, my friend. Until next time…