Isn’t it amazing how sometimes you just don’t know what to say when you started on the path to say something. Sometimes you open your mouth and the words don’t come out; or in my case, you sit down to write a letter to someone you care about, and you the words just don’t show up…even when you kind of know what you want to say. And THAT is why I started this letter to you like this. I hope you picked up on the line that I care about you. You know I do. I hope you know. I care. That means that I think about your well-being; I think about our fond memories; I care how you are doing all the time even when I don’t get to tell you. I know that you know that. And what a pretty good feeling it is to know that you care about me too. I know that the texts and visits are vanished like farts in the wind but hey, at least it doesn’t smell, right? But I know that you care, and you know even more so that I do to because I’ve spent an ENTIRE paragraph talking about it.
Ready? I never told you how I felt about you back in the days when we were together all the time. I was afraid to tell you. Ha! Me! I was afraid. I was lost. In that bewilderment, I wasn’t myself. I don’t think you knew that. I think you saw me for what I appeared to be. Things are not always ‘what you see is what you get.’ Unfortunately, if we appear to be anything less than GREATNESS, we aren’t our true selves. This is true. And when I was with you so many years ago, you didn’t see my greatness because I did not show it. You accepted the shadow side of me but how could you have known that I was lost? How could you have known that less than greatness was not me? I did not even. Because I was not acting in my true power, my love, joy, honesty, and authenticity, I never told you how I felt. Isn’t that silly? How often does this happen in life? How often do we NOT SPEAK from our TRUTH, our HEARTS, OUR SOULS? Too often. As time passes, with every tick of the incessant clock, we drift further away not only from ourselves, but from others. Yet we are still here…and others still cradle us in that moment, they hold us suspended and accepting of what we display because it is the only reality of us they know. This is sometimes life, but it does not have to last a lifetime. The TRUTH IS that anything less than LOVE and WONDER isn’t the full truth. Fortunately, though we may be lost and drift, the truth of who we are is still there within us…watching…waiting…to be called forth, to be brought out in action…in word.
Finally, after years of gallivanting as something that I wasn’t, I found myself. I found that GREATNESS that resides in me, in all of us. I called upon it feeling ALIVE, AWAKE, and ABLE to express myself fully. I found myself lost at the beginning of this letter, slipping into that space of forgetfulness, of fear…I suppose it’s because I remembered who I was then. Through the journey of these words, again finding myself to tell you that I loved you. I love you for all that you brought into my life. I so loved your face, your filthy mouth, your over-the-top ridiculous analysis of life. I held you and hold you still just as you are. I would have done anything for you, and probably still will. I’ll do it because of appreciation of myself and life, love and ability. It isn’t to some obligation from the past nor fear of still not being accepted. It isn’t out of some simple reminiscing but rather it comes from the NOW, the HERE, of ME, being able to LOVE YOU. This is ME. It always WAS me. It’s just that now, I finally remembered and in that remembering, I can stand to tell you. I can send you this letter.
I pray that you experience few moments of forgetfulness of who you truly are. I pray that you, too, are able to by fully…You. Thank you.
This is Sean. And That is What Sean Knows!
(‘Dear Friend’ is a collection of letters in December of 2013. The recipients are never mentioned. Whether or not they are actually sent and received will never be revealed at all. I hope that you also write letters to people that speak from the heart.)
If you liked this blog, found it informative, funny, interesting or just enjoyed it in any way and want to thank me click the Donate Button Below!
If you found this useful, let me know. 😉
- Dear Friend: Letter 4 (seanknows.wordpress.com)
- Dear Friend: Letter 3 (seanknows.wordpress.com)
- Dear Friend: Letter 2 (seanknows.wordpress.com)
- Dear Friend: Letter 1 (seanknows.wordpress.com)
- Dear Friend: Letter 5 (seanknows.wordpress.com)