I had goals, plans, desires, and dreams. It felt like they disappeared. Little by little as I got older, they seemed further and further away. They seemed so far away that I couldn’t even see them anymore. From failed relationships to losing my ass financially several times over, it was normal for me to constantly be disappointed and take it out on others and even myself. This went on for years. I repeated history here and there. Hope popped it’s head up from time to time to show me a light, but eventually, because of work…or family problems…or my own self-imposed health issues, it was the regular cycle of life…if you can call it LIFE!
I smiled and I laughed and I had successes throughout the years, both small and big…but I kept myself very unhappy. I easily forgot all the countries I’d been to, the celebrities that I’d had met, the people that I’d helped with changing their own lives for the better. I’d become jaded. I would say things like I was a “has-been” and then I would forget about all my really great accomplishments and I would then say that I was a “has-been who never was…,” and I did this to myself everyday. I wasn’t saying to everyone I met. I wasn’t saying it out loud really at all unless it was like a joke, but was it really a joke. I didn’t know I was doing it everyday, but I was. Somewhere down inside of me, this is what I believed, and from this grew the Sean that some people didn’t like to be around. I had great friends, I was a great friend!…in small doses. My emotions were up and down and if I faced it honestly, the emotions were more down than up. I seemed to never catch a break and if I did, I either ‘lost it’ or threw it away. I always wondered if I was the only person going through this…doing this to myself. I knew that I wasn’t, but why would I want to talk to any of the others anyway. I knew better, didn’t I?
To lay it on even thicker, and get even more mad at myself, I had been studying self-help and personal development programs since I was in middle school. I’d listened to everything I could and have read every biography and motivational book that I ever came across. I knew what they all said. There were times that I would actually follow through with some of the programs and find success. It took work. It took dreaming. It took action. And when I did it, I would actually get what I wanted, but then I would kill my own goals and hopes. I’d beat myself up again and again, and by 30 years young, I’d almost given up.
I was down but I was not completely out. I’d gotten to a point to where I couldn’t take it anymore and something had to change. My life had to change. I absolutely had no choice but to do something or I would spend the next 30 and even 60 years of my life like that. And this was no way to live.
I set out on a quest for change…for glory in my life. I set out and truly wanted to be the champion of my own life. I wanted a new life. I wanted it bad! Using some of the tools I already knew about setting goals and finding out what it would take to feel happy again, I began climbing this mountain I’d built for myself. I took some of the simple principles that all the best books said to do and I did them. I did them everyday.
I decided these things. I set things in motion and then I flew off to California for an event that would change my life forever. When people ask what I went to do, the easiest thing is to say that I went on a soul searching trip and for the first time ever, I finally met my own soul! Call it what you want, but I came back a changed man. I came back unafraid of anything in life! I came back with an understanding and a confidence like never before, and I finally was becoming the man I’d always wanted to be. Moreover, I was happy! I was ecstatic and I had more energy that I’d ever had in my life. Everything finally made sense to me and all the tools that I always had at my disposal were now at my command. I started employing everything I new about health, finances, and relationships, but the ones that were going to make the biggest differences were the things I knew about psychology and spirituality! Overnight, I became a powerhouse. The sad, defeated Sean that used to talk bad to himself all day long was gone. The shift came when I started being grateful first. I started talking to myself out loud everyday about all the things I was grateful for in life. Anything that came to mind. “So, which came first, Sean? How did you get to be this way?” Someone asked me that as they stared in amazement the other day.
What came first was a decision to change. Then, I decided to be grateful for everything no matter what it was. From that, change occured in such a magnificent way that no matter what I did, I was grateful and nothing could stop me. Nothing can stop me! Surely I cannot control every single thing that happens in my life, but surely I can control how I feel about it, and if I can control my emotions, then I’m in control of my life. Well, I decide everyday to be grateful…and I let that feeling fill me up! And when you have that kind of feeling surging through you, tell me what can stop you in life.
Enjoy Life my friends, and live it with a Smile! That’s what Sean Knows!
I’ll give you links to all my books next time!